Online Safety - an oxymoron?

I have opinions about privacy online but no real answers. No wait, the best way to protect yourself online is to never get online. (Just like the best way to have "safe sex" is to not have sex.) However, that's just not an option for some (eh hem, I'm back to talking about the internet).

I discovered the internet in 1996 in the tunnels of Wright State. Friends taught me how to "ping" others who were online and then randomly pick some anonymous person to talk to. They were all other Wright State students and the fun was that the person you were chatting with could be sitting on the other side of the campus or sitting right behind you. I don't think we ever met anyone we chatted with, that wasn't the point (even though it was very possible). Usually we just "pinged" our friends to see if they were online and wanted to go do something or just chat. So it all started with a lot of chatting online.

Then I ventured out and found an Australian site where I sent emails to several people asking if they'd like to be e-mail pals. Enno answered my email and we chatted, emailed and even talked on the phone for over a year. We're still in contact, but we've still never met. Maybe someday.

My friends then introduced me to telnet. Basically there were online bulletin boards systems (BBS) out there and you'd use an application to telnet to those different bulletin boards. The most popular ones were sponsored by universities. The two I visited were ISCA (Iowa Student Computer Association) BBS, and Brinta BBS, based in the Netherlands.

Not my actual photo, but I knew these people.

Being from Iowa, you'd think that I would be on ISCA the most, however I just like the international forum that Brinta was. I have numerous friends that I met on Brinta and two are very close friends who live in Dayton, Ohio. If not for Brinta I would never have met them (and their sweetie kids), and I like to think I had something to do with getting them together. I also have other friends I met on Brinta that I've visited over the years and we still stay in contact, through facebook though.

Back then the people who were online were students and people with jobs that required them to be online. It was very different back then, most of the people online seemed educated and most were polite, or at least really honest. Safety wasn't so much of a concern but you definitely didn't give out your personal info until you really got to know someone. (Most people on Brinta still think of me as Emily.)

Things have really changed, I don't have to tell you that. I've stayed online, mostly for social reasons. When I was single I tried most of the dating sites and encountered all sorts of freaks. (That's another blog post for another day. I kept a blog about my dating life which is definitely not public.) Over the years I got pretty good at knowing who to trust online and who to block and move on. I call it my BS detector and it's about 98% effective. (The "caster" got past the detector for a couple of days and shocked me pretty good when I realized what kind of freak he was. There's an entire community of people who wear casts for the attention.)

Here's my recommendation for staying safe on social online sites: (in no way comprehensive)

1. Use common sense - do you allow people you pass on the street to know your full name? Do you show them pictures of your children/grandchildren and tell them their names? 
2. Trust your gut feeling. If someone seems creepy, that's probably something in your subconscious telling you to stay away from them. 
3. Don't trust people. You can be friendly without trusting people. That old high school friend may have a record of breaking into homes. They don't need to know where you live or when you're gone.
4. Don't feel bad for not accepting someone's friend request. You owe them nothing. Even if you know them in real life, you're not obligated to let them be in contact with you online. 
5. If you're new to the internet, start off slow. There's lots to learn, especially with how to read into things that are posted online. Learn about the privacy settings on each site, and how to block people. (It's best to know this BEFORE you need to use it.)
6. Check your privacy settings regularly to make sure your online service didn't change their policy. Who can see your personal information? Who can view the pictures you post online? Who can see your real name and where you're from? 
7. Don't use your real name if you don't need to. On monster.com and other job-hunting sites, it's a good idea to be truthful. Other than that, feel free to use a knick name and don't post anything else personal about yourself.
8. Be careful your username doesn't reveal info about yourself. I used to use cyndibuttercup but then everyone knew my name was Cyndi (and that I liked the Princess Bride). So then I used buttercup2272 and everyone thought my birthday was February 2nd and they knew how old I was. So I changed my username again. 

So how you stay safe online? Do you have suggestions for my list? (I'll update this and add them.) Any stories of unexpected surprises when you thought you were being safe? Feel free to leave your comments here. :)